[nking]

In terms of infidelity, this attitude doesn’t make a bit of sense to me. If I meet a woman and start a relationship I’m not rationally going to hold it against her that she’s slept with other men before me, and if the relationship ends I wouldn’t be concerned if she slept with other men (or women I know) after me. So then, why should I be so concerned if during our relationship she sleeps with other people? Disease and paternity issues can be managed with protection and DNA testing. You know, I wouldn’t dare tell someone they aren’t free to do as they please with their own body. They might turn around and ask me why.

[xupybd]

I would dare tell my wife that she can't sleep with others. Just as she would tell me the same.

We bond via oxytocin especially during sex. My wife and I have committed to only bond with each other. It's something we both want and have chosen.

I'm not saying others have to but it is a very common expectation. Rooted in our biology. There are many things we can manage with modern technology but sometimes life is better not having to.

[nking]

I’m afraid our collective genetics does not tell of a history of fidelity. The standard successful procreation strategy involves children through many partners.

And besides, aren’t sexual experiences enjoyment? Why deny yourself and your partner pleasure and variety? You could both agree to not let the other watch TV and just glare at each other over every meal, but that’s going to get old pretty fast.

Not that I’m against marriage as it is today, but for the fact that for a decision that so radically defines the lives of those involved, I think there should be more deliberation in the details.

[xupybd]

Our genetics do tell that story.

However there is a biologic reason for male jealousy. It's a good strategy to ensure your genetics out compete others. It ensures you don't waste your resources raising someone else's children.

Female jealousy ensures that she has a provider and protector during the vulnerable period during pregnancy and child raring.

The rape and pillage strategy was probably the most successful but it's a no longer and accepted practice.

>You could both agree to not let the other watch TV and just glare at each other over every meal, but that’s going to get old pretty fast.

Please tell me that is not what you think marriage is limited to. We raise children together. Build our family together. Explore the world together.

There is so much fulfillment in a long term committed relationship. If all I thought it was is watching TV and glaring at each other, then I'd hate that too. If that's how your parents or people around you treat each other, that's horrible. I'm sorry your experience has been like that.