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by lucidwaking 5285 days ago
As someone who has seen bipolar type 2 first hand, you sound terrifyingly like me. I know that you won't get help right now, but I beg you to do so when you're at the nadir and sinking beneath the waves begins to make sense. Please, please don't let this break you and destroy your life.

It isn't something wrong. It's just the way we were born. Please seek help and learn how to live with this. Please.
1 comments
lionhearted 5285 days ago
If you pushed yourself onto the normal path and that makes you happy and keeps you engaged, great.

I made a different choice with different outcomes. In the last four weeks, I was able to hire like 30-40 people or so, keep six or so projects running, do a deal with a top hotel chain and top jeweler, put out a book in a week, lead a struggle for reform against traditional publishing, made $38,500, shot a bunch of videos, had a bunch of fun, hired an architect to build an orphanage in Ulaanbaatar, and so on.

Normal life? It's not for me. I'll take the good with the bad, burn hotter than the sun, and burn out and go mad at a relatively young age. It's a lifestyle choice, and I'm doing it an educated fashion. I wouldn't wish it on anyone else, I don't advocate it, but I wouldn't give it up for anything.

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lucidwaking 5285 days ago
Do you honestly believe that I have a normal life?

Oh the creative turmoil can be helpful, but being grounded helps you to do so much more. Otherwise it's just two steps forward and one step back. (Be honest, doesn't that happen when you crash? Or when things become too feverish and hot?)

Further, there are things worth being stable for. Sometimes finding that one person who will love you and never leave your side is worth any amount of glory, fame, prestige or greatness you could possibly hustle. Sooner or later we all need someone to keep us warm at night and make everything worth it. Especially someone like us.

You're high right now. You'll probably snort at all of this, but reflect upon this when you're in that segue mode between the zenith and the nadir, when you're passing through that goldilocks zone of stability, and you'll know the answer.

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