[DrammBA]

I left this as general comment and I feel it's relevant here:

> Reading the post and then HN comments makes me realize the average HN user lacks a lot of emotional intelligence.

> People are criticizing the post based on the cold hard mistakes the author made while completely glossing over the emotional introspection the author went through to acknowledge all their mistakes and finally close this chapter of their lives.

> Stop treating this post like you are code reviewing a PR.

I suppose it is to be somewhat expected from the target audience of HN to fixate on the logical parts and completely ignore the artistic and emotional parts, but in this case that means they are ignoring the whole point of your post.

[plopperdoo]

Yes and no. It’s important to reserve a tiny handhold on emotional takes because sometimes it’s raw and emotional for underhanded reasons. I think the comment you’re replying to, wherein active spin was attempted to refocus on the emotional part over the legal part, suggests it’s a nonzero possibility. Some parts of the essay raised the idea for me and I had to work hard to dismiss them, to pay him the ultimate respect of reading it all (every word).

It comes across like the author is aware the feelings argument is stronger than the legal one. He likes Reddit’s take because the feelings were engaged. He quite clearly hates this forum’s because it asks questions of the situation he’d prefer to leave alone. Again, that’s how it comes across.

If you don’t keep such a handhold you’re more easily manipulated, and in this cold light of day and particularly that comment, I can’t argue against that idea as much as I would have last night. I do agree with you that we could all do with a bit more empathy, but keep your wits, all I’m saying.