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Seeing some of the comments in reply here from folks who find it hard to give or take gratitude, it seems a lot of people see what is being talked about as praise. But appreciation is distinct. Praise is: you are good or your skills is good. Appreciation/gratitude is: you really made a difference to me. You can never go wrong just honestly and vulnerably saying, "I appreciate you because...", and telling someone how what they did really help you out, or let them know you appreciate them because they made a difference to you, you're just sharing how you feel sincerely. Whatever happens, you said what you could at the time. As for accepting expressions of gratitude, people may have ulterior motives that you may correctly suspect, in which case...be happy, a frenemy has revealed themselves to you, and the fact that they see you as important enough to their interests to try to manipulate is its own form of compliment...or they may simply be imperfectly trying to express how much of a difference you made to them, like everybody else... Either way you can choose the meaning you take from it and find something to feel happy about or use. It reflects poorly on your if you always suspect other people saying nice things to you, for one you have such a low opinion of others, and of your own impact, but also you miss many chances to find something good. For examples: someone may have been trying to connect with you, because they appreciate you, but by suspecting them, you pushed them away, and hurt them. May as well at least try to see the good and give a chance to it: you may be helping someone more than you know by doing so. |