[adamc]

Having been on the other end of it... the reality is harsh. People say they want to know, but in fact... they mostly don't. The reality of it is hard to deal with. It can go on and on.

People have a lot of misconceptions, sometimes for good reasons (it makes life easier to endure). It's a lot like the pushback on #metoo or #blacklivesmatter or <almost anything linked to traumatic experience>. They want to make it your fault because then its not something they have to think about.

I think depression is mostly orthogonal to where you work, although stress may make it worse.

[whats_a_quasar]

This was definitely my experience. It takes so long and so much effort to get out of a deep depression that it strains everyone around you.

If anyone's gone through or is going through something similar, I highly recommend "The Noonday Demon." It captures much of the subjective experience of someone going through a depression, and how weird and frustrating the experience can be for everyone involved. https://www.amazon.com/Noonday-Demon-Atlas-Depression/dp/150...

[silisili]

I agree with this. Someone reaching out because they have a problem or need someone to talk to is perfectly welcomed. Someone who does so daily becomes a big f'ing drag on your life, pardon the expression.

My father did that to us kids after divorce, and our relationship has never been the same.

(For those curious, he didn't hurt himself, just became an angry, sad, drunk yearslong drag on us all).