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James Earl Jones, according to legend, had a horrific stutter growing up. If you're not familiar, he played Darth Vader and has one of the deepest, richest voices in movies - it is very much his main asset. Long story short, I read somewhere (usual "I didn't verify this at all" caveat applies) they did some brain scans on him to see if they could figure out anything about stuttering, and as it turns out, when he speaks now, he uses the part of his brain that relates to singing, rather than talking. He didn't fix the problem, in other words, he just sang his way around it, and once you keep that in mind, listening to him speak has a feel to it. I had crippling social anxiety when younger, I would feel absolute terror going into a party for instance. But I also play in bands, and not once have I ever experienced stagefright in 30ish years of live performance. But if I do a good show and an attractive person approaches me afterwards, I'm just as awkward and useless as ever at closing the deal. In fact, I only feel comfortable hanging out at a bar if I'm playing there - if I'm working, in other words. Basically, a room full of your peers is not the same as an audience, so don't bother contrasting the two situations; I can tell you with great confidence that they are two different things, even when they are comprised of exactly the same group of people. So whatever you do, don't be confused about why you do well in one and not so much in the other. This is how the anxiety brain works. The usual suggestion from professionals these days seems to be Cognitive Behavioral Therapy after just about any diagnosis, but it doesn't sound like you've sought a diagnosis for your social anxiety yet. Worth pursuing - there are also pills that can help without the debilitating effects of alcohol or other things people use to get over that hump. |