[fluxinflex]

> But when it comes to impromptu talks, giving opinions or asking just questions in big forums involving senior leaders / peers or other team members, I generally fumble. My body language doesn't show confidence, try to mince words etc.

Hang on, didn't you just post your question to a forum of peers? ;)

Perhaps it has something to do with context, HN is just a bunch of tech kiddies (and adults) staying around the water dispenser drinking the cool-aid, while work is full of bosses constantly on the lookout for people to make redundant. At least that is what I imagine.

Preparation is important, mental preparation is even more important. I once did a speakers course and the best part was telling an emotional story (out of ones own life) in front of the other participants. Being close to tears in front of other people harden me to talk about anything in front of anybody.

I was one told the imperfect notion of imagining your listeners to be naked (sorry this was told to me before #metoo - don't do this at home). The intention was to believe that your better than your listeners and therefore king of the stage. Don't believe this. That doesn't work. It makes you arrogant and presumptuous.

I found it better to think of being a speaker as being asked to speak by people who wish to listen and learn something from you. Speaking isn't a competition, it is a community sharing ideas.