[coldtea]

It's not about the others knowing who you are or your reputation, and thus not needing to establish that if you're already famous, etc.

The insight is rather that others could not give less fucks if they knew about you more, what they like is to talk about themselves.

This is true even if you're totally non famous and unknown to them, like a random taxi driver and you. They still like to talk about themselves over hearing about you.

[willmadden]

It IS about your reputation. Peoples’ motivations are selfish. They want to be perceived as higher status and are constantly assessing “what’s in it for me” through their personal frame of reference.

Having someone they perceive to be influential, powerful etc. listen to them spill their guts about themselves means a lot more than if they explained their worldview to a homeless person on the street. They wouldn’t shut up about the former experience at a dinner party, but wouldn’t even engage with the latter!

The point is, if your reputation does not already proceed you, talking more about yourself (assuming you aren’t a dolt) increases your perceived social value with a stranger. If your reputation is good and proceeds you already, listening more matters.