[cateblanchett]

i think there's an unconscious impulse to try to seem either servile or mysterious in conversations where you want to be liked or seem interesting. so it makes sense that people assume reticence to speak is a better tactic than talking a lot.

[scatterhead]

Servile or mysterious? That doesn't resonate with me at all. Could that be a function of your personality and not a widely applicable thing?

[cateblanchett]

well to want to be 'liked' is to put yourself at the mercy of someone else's opinion of you. and to seem 'interesting' without saying much is to elicit intrigue - or mystery, so you want to seem mysterious.

[scatterhead]

I think it's more correct that people appreciate being liked. If you don't feel liked by this person, you'll gravitate to a different person. Calling it "servility" is really stretching it.

> seem 'interesting' without saying much is to elicit intrigue - or mystery, so you want to seem mysterious.

I'm sure there are people to whom that applies. But it doesn't seem likely to be widely applicable to me. Most people just aren't going for the "dark and mysterious" vibe.