[voski]

I was also bullied a lot. Especially between first and eight grade. I was much bigger than everyone else but I would never fight back. I always felt bad about potentially hurting someone else so I would just take it.

The kids couldn’t actually physically damage me since I was so much bigger. They did cause a lot of psychological harm. I had a very negative predisposition towards anyone that I met. I just assumed everyone would be hostile towards me and would want to make fun of me. I still struggle with this mindset and I am in my thirties. I will usually be very shut off from people I do not know.

There were a couple of times that I did stand up for myself. Each time the bullying completely stopped.

I thought I was being the better person by not fighting back but that was not true. I was being harmless. That harmlessness invited more violence.

[s1artibartfast]

I think the key term here is learned helplessness. Children and to a lesser extent adults push boundaries. Establishing strong boundaries is a key part of developing a sense of control over one's life.