[tolleydbg]

This suggestion is humorous, but absolutely true: Potty Training In 3 Days.

Before having children, I thought I was fairly empathetic and introspective, but raising a child helped me realize how superficial those traits in myself were.

I'm being completely honest when I say this book made me a better leader and project manager - having a better understanding of the motivations of others, incentivizing those looking to you for guidance based on their own goals/desires, providing those with tools they need to succeed, and taking a macro view of a problem and allowing those under me to flourish and find creative ways to solve problems that take advantage of their strengths and idiosyncrasies.

I'm in no way suggesting that you infantilize those around you, just that teaching my toddler to shit opened my eyes to the way I approached problems, and Brandi Brucks' book helped me approach things differently with great success!

[westurner]

"The Everyday Parenting Toolkit: The Kazdin Method for Easy, Step-by-Step, Lasting Change for You and Your Child" https://www.google.com/search?kgmid=/g/11h7dr5mm6&hl=en-US&q...

"Everyday Parenting: The ABCs of Child Rearing" (Kazdin, Yale,) https://www.coursera.org/learn/everyday-parenting :

> The course will also shed light on many parenting misconceptions and ineffective strategies that are routinely used.

Re: Effective praise and Validating parenting

https://wrdrd.github.io/docs/consulting/kids

[tolleydbg]

I love Kazdin, great additional suggestion. I didn't know there was a course on Coursera though, thanks for sharing!

[dotemacs]

Thanks for these suggestions, bought the books & signed up for the course!

[nashashmi]

“Can a man be a soldier and father?”

Mel Gibson: “I would think so. I hope being good at one makes me better at the other.” (And vice versa).

- from movie “We were soldiers … and young”

[xchip]

How so?

[nashashmi]

Being a soldier is more than just about fighting in war. It’s about handling difficulties. It’s about constantly being on the move even when you are tired. It is about protecting your comrades. It is about containing your anger in difficulty. It is about discipline. It is about management, leadership, camaraderie. It is about being human.

It is about way more stuff than that. And maybe one day someone will share everything it is and more. Or maybe like me you willl just keep wondering and keep learning.

[sureglymop]

I will tell you as someone who had to do mandatory army service that this wasn't my experience at all. Being a soldier is about being a mindless vessel that can take orders, execute them and report back for more orders. If you start to think, think creatively or show too much empathy or compassion you might get punished.

[nashashmi]

Mandatory army service can be like that. It’s like everyone’s miserable to be there. The grunts hate it. Their superiors think they hate it and so treat them like they are worthless. A soul sucking experience if you are unfortunate.

[mattpallissard]

> Before having children, I thought I was fairly empathetic and introspective, but raising a child helped me realize how superficial those traits in myself were.

Ditto. I also realized that I am not laid back or easy going, and that I can be quite aggro at times.

Humbling realizations.

[Breza]

I'm currently potty training my toddler and I completely agree with you! I also suggest How to Talk so Little Kids will Listen. That book improved my ability to empathize with both little and big people.

[techstrategist]

Totally agree! We used this book for our 3.5yo son and then even faster with his 2.5yo brother. It somehow gets a layer deeper in terms of understanding, empathizing, and managing behavior.

[tolleydbg]

Absolutely. It's amazing how concisely she lays it all out too. I hope people don't think I'm being sarcastic when I say that it is the perfect example of how a guide/tutorial should be written. The book could also be named the Mythical Dad-Week.

[fredrikholm]

Genuinely felt a bit bummed since we lost Brooks, reading that nearly made me spit out my drink. Thank you.

[halefx]

Her approach actually doesn't focus on defecation at all, just urination, but yep, I agree with all the rest.

[more_corn]

This is the best idea I’ve heard all week.