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> But no matter which end I try to start from, I can't seem to escape the sheer meaninglessness of it all. First of all, you are right. There isn't an once of "meaning" to anything. So don't feel "flawed" for seeing the naked truth as it is, while surrounded by a bunch of us delusionals thinking there is some sort of "meaning" to our lives. The meaning is what we put in ourselves. It's a product of our minds. Sso there is nothing to escape from. Now, what next then? Writting this whole post shows effort and concern. You seem concerned about your situation. This is good, this is a driving force. Use it. You are an organism, a system, that for some reason function out of the "norm". Study this system scientifically and figure out why that it. Not necesserily for the purpose of getting better. But for the shake of knowledge, for the shake of understanding yourself and putting your mind at ease. > Making friends/maintaining close relationships doesn't come naturally to me, and the more effort I put into it, the more detached and dishonest I feel. No reason to feel dishonest. Be straight upfront, state your selfish reasons for interacting with others and i bet you will find people who will love to hang out with you and help you, because you know why? They also need what you need, they just don't see it as clearly as you do. You know you need to interact with them to get better, they just do it instictively without knowing. As before, you've just seen the naked truth, unlike the rest. |