[maxbond]

Please note that Neil Strauss has said that pickup artistry destroyed his ability to relate to women and remain faithful to his wife, and that he seems to regret it. I'm only so familiar with his work, but my understanding is that he didn't know what to do when he met a woman he actually cared for, and that he couldn't "turn off" his objectification of women and his desire for sexual conquest.

I'd really encourage people to steer clear of pickup artistry, especially people who feel they are in a vulnerable frame of mind. The central goal of pickup artistry is to manipulate women into lowering their expectations rather than being a partner who fulfills their needs. And that's just not a recipe for happiness in the long term. (And it's not an okay way to treat people either.)

[brutus1213]

I agree with what you said, and said the same. I never cared to practice it (and have some moral qualms with it). The book was insightful for me nonetheless.

[maxbond]

I understand. I've taken meaning from problematic books before too, specifically the adjacent community (with similar problems) of "body language experts" (which turns out to be a grift unsupported by evidence). I did try to use this, with cringey results. I don't recommend these books to people anymore, but there is the odd concept I still find interesting.

I figured that many people would be lurking this thread, potentially for years after this, looking for advice, and I just wanted to put up a sign post in front of this rabbit hole.

Once I went through a terrible breakup with a woman who emotionally abused and gaslit me. I was traumatized and vulnerable, and looking for answers. Thank goodness I didn't stumble into the pickup or Manosphere communities; I worry I'd have been easy pickings for the grifters who prey on them.