[t-3]

I'm pretty much in the same boat, so I don't have any good advice, but you have my sympathy. The only thing that's kept me going for the past year is setting a "final project" to complete before I die. This "big goal" feels a little less pointless than the "small goals", even though I know it's not.

[adantical]

May I ask what your "final project" is? I'm curious what you've identified as important or close to you in this way. I've felt like this before as well, like might as well dedicate my life to a project, but have never been able to keep up the motivation for big goals like this.

[t-3]

Designing and writing a programming language and compiler/interpreter/IDE completely from scratch. The motivation is due to my lack of joy/outright hate of using most languages, and a big dose of wanting to do something that most people haven't. The idea of it has taken hold of me and become an obsession, but I've also been afraid to speak about it until recently for fear of losing hold of the only goal I've ever had in life.