| Hi. I'm you, ten years ago. You have already heard all the unsolicited opinions and suggestions from people who have no fucking clue what you're going through or what 6oige been through. You have been told "just do X, Y, Z" and have been given countless resources both local and national that others think would help you. You tried contacting a few and they were too demanding, demeaning, or discriminating. You spent a lot of time learning helplessness even as you became self sufficient to the best of your ability. It wasn't enough either way. Nobody wanted to help you, they just wanted to tell you that they want to, and you discovered that you don't even want their help anyway because it comes with caveats and requirements that you simply cannot tolerate or meet. You found a way to stay connected and survive despite all this. You know you can take care of yourself. You know you are worth someone's effort and time, but you can't find that someone. Every time you think you do, they fuck you over in some way. The tiny things added up. A broken this, a missed that, a forgotten something by someone. Dominoes fell. There are plenty of individuals at fault but it's mostly the systems, or The System. The World Should Be Better, but it's not. People are assholes, churches and charities are grifters, there's no hope for those who proffer hope. You're right. You're right. You're on your own. You're better than all of them. Prove it. |
Workin' on it to the best of my ability. 'Tis taking far longer than I'd hoped, and all the while the pain and lack of sleep drives me slowly insane… It's a race against time, and so far time is winning. Ah well… Live alone, die alone, even surrounded by 8 billion others… C'est la vie…