| Elon finally returning to the fold, I see. "How to Win Friends and Influence People" is the kind of thing the crowd here will sneer and roll their eyes at but for me it felt like the missing manual I never got for socializing and functioning in a work environment once I aged out of the early 20s startup/tech thing where frat house behavior is encouraged. Like anything, socializing is a skill and you're going to have to fumble through the awkward stages to develop it. Toastmasters or if your business is large enough to have interest groups (veterans! Parents! They might even have Toastmasters! Etc. Etc.) Gives you something in common to talk about. Greet people in the morning, especially if you see them regularly. Even if they groan or are grumpy its still nice to be acknowledged. A lot of people like to sneer about smalltalk but I'm absolutely not going to leap into a discussion of Machiavallian ethics or particle physics or whatever with a dude I've never talked to before. Have some business safe Normal People things to talk about. I do genuinely like sports but I made lots of friends with sales/marketing/execs/finance/etc. When I could ask them how their team was doing (or whatever) vs. The 10,000 technical weirdo of the day. It doesn't have to be sports. I have cats. That is what work people know about me. They don't need to know how much I play vidya or that I'm really into RPGs or whatever right up front unless they are obviously into that. Ask questions. Not in an annoying way. But a lightly curious way. People leave signs all the time. Maybe their wallpaper is pictures of their kids or pet or car or boat or I dunno, whatever. Ask about it, just "oh is that your kids/dog/boat/etc.?" Ask a couple questions like how old they are. And then ask how they are doing every now and then when you talk to that person. Pick people's brains. If someone is working in a job you want or are curious about or working with a technology or something you find interesting, ask them if you could have coffee or lunch and pick their brain sometime. Humor: Humor in the workplace is a good way to get fired if you don't know what you're doing, and if you're asking this, you don't. |
That's because the book was written in 1936! One needs to look past the sometimes outdated examples and will find that every clue on social interactions is still spot on.