| new relationships = low commitment never ask a new friend to hang in X, where X is days away. instead just do, i'm heading to this arcade want to join? or i'm at coffee shop now, want to stop by and catch up. this is how you can turn casual associates into friends. if someone cool i knew asked me to spend 2 hours with them i'd get nervous. plus, if they know that you are cool even without them they are far more likely to join you. |
This is not my experience at all in my new host country. I tried this a lot and never got anyone to join. People here seem to have their schedule pre-planned, and expect you to schedule meetups in advance if you want them to join you. Sending texts like "I'm having a coffee in town, join me if you want" to people I just met always left me alone, with replies coming after 2+ hours or the next day like "sorry, I was busy/got other plans/saw your text too late".
It's how I spent my 30th birthday alone. I texted a bunch of people 10h in advance if they want join me later that Friday/Saturday night for birthday drinks and maybe going out dancing later. Out of about 12 people, nobody came. :(
It's a cultural issue I think in the German speaking part of Europe. Brazilians told me spontaneous meetings with people are completely normal there, but here people don't spontaneously join invites from people they aren't very close with and expect you to schedule these well in advance.