[sph]

> I don't wanna take them for the rest of my life

That's not the biggest worry. The largest psychological hurdle is seeing how much better your brain is with an illegal medication, and accepting the very uncomfortable truth that a pill that's often maligned, misunderstood, abused, and controlled is the difference between a fulfilling life and a slow spiral into the Abyss. Your fortune is not completely in your control.

As someone that has relied on himself all of his life, this idea still is very hard to live with.