[socialismisok]

I literally said I don't impose it on others. Others make attempts to accommodate me and I feel more included as a result.

If your workplace said, "we've got some private rooms to work if it would make you more comfortable, it'd be something you positively regard and would make you feel more included, right?

[bequanna]

Ah, but the whole genesis of this discussion is that many people are trying to impose it on others.

I have absolutely no problem with gender neutral bathrooms. But I have a big problem with the name calling (“transphobe”), bullying, and shaming in some attempt to push an agenda where the upside is only fewer hurt feelings.

[socialismisok]

If I choose to say "pregnant people" and I explain that I'm choosing that word to intentionally include both pregnant women and pregnant non-women, is that shaming or bullying?

If I then go to my peers and say, "heads up, the phrase 'pregnant women' might not include everyone who is pregnant", and they say, "oh, that makes sense, let me adjust my own language!", I think that's probably not shaming or bullying either.

If, over time, those conversations spread and we see a general public movement to use "pregnant person", this again seems like good intentions without any particular agenda besides, "oh, of course. If we recognize trans men, then we should probably make sure we say pregnant people".

I don't think changing the language is bullying, shaming, or pushing an agenda - it's people making changes that are logically consistent with how they experience the world. Again: if trans men exist, then pregnancy must occur in men and women.

The reason you hear people react strongly is because they believe they have a simple logic, and people come in and say, "I deny that trans men exist, or I deny trans men are men."

That's a pretty strong thing to say and a pretty strong thing to hear.

[dmix]

> If I choose to say "pregnant people" and I explain that I'm choosing that word to intentionally include both pregnant women and pregnant non-women, is that shaming or bullying?

Are you really just talking about yourself? You don't also expect everyone else to use the same language? You don't want every corporate website, school newsletter, teacher's curriculum, every Tweet from a public person, random Reddit comments, etc to also use your preferred language?

Because that's what it's meant IRL.

I've heard 100 people on Reddit/Twitter saying "they just want to be left alone to do what they want" and "why do you care what people do with their own private lives (or in their bedroom)?". Then they spend all of their time gatekeeping and purity-testing the language and actions of every person they come into contact with.

[socialismisok]

I want to use language that makes trans parents feel included. That's it.

I'd encourage others to use that language and explain my reasoning (which is what I did above.) If they don't, I'm bummed out but I move on. I may think more negatively of that person in the future.

That's all. In real life and in internet life.

[bequanna]

You’re absolutely free to do use whatever language you want, but your expectation that I do the same, implicit or otherwise, is where I draw the line.

I get it. You’re super hip.

But words are indeed meaningful and you don’t get to choose how I use them or what they mean to me. I have a wife, not a “partner”. She is a woman, not a “birthing person”.

Make up whatever new words of definitions you wish. Hell, create a new language if you want. But stop trying to make everyone else conform to your vocabulary that primarily exists to virtue signal and for attention seeking.

[socialismisok]

Well, she's both a pregnant person and a pregnant woman.

I don't believe I've ever said you couldn't choose the words you prefer to use for yourself. The most I'd say is, "here is the reasoning for why this might make some people feel excluded" and let you make your own choices.

You've responded quite aggressively to me, attacking positions I don't hold while also insulting me. (Ironically calling me super hip, virtue signaling, and attention seeking.)

I'm non-binary, it has nothing to do with any of the reasons you mentioned, it's just the language I use with my community, and explaining to others calmly and rationally why it helps some people feel included.