[mjburgess]

Well, from the pov of the person being "detached", to be treated as an object is rutheless.

What we are saying, after all, is that the other is "a mere product" of nature; a symptom, not an agent.

This, I think, is the most "anti-Western" notion 'inside' forgiveness, and why it seems so counter-intutive.

The thing we do not want to give up is that people are agents who bare responsibility for their actions, that people are our objects of concern, that people are special.

When we forgive we, ineffect, dehumanise -- at least, for the moment of that forgiveness. We step outside of a world in which they matter. And that seems a more ruthless and radical gesture than just hating them.

[trgn]

Extending forgiveness is ruthless indeed.

Thomas Hobbes makes the following observation in leviathan, that is thoroughly depressing and at first perhaps paradoxical. A person who wronged you will only ever be able to hate you afterwards: either because of fear for your vengeance, or because of distaste for your forgiveness.

The positive action of forgiveness only applies to those who extend it; those who are forgiven are rendered impotent. it's somewhat of a manipulative act if it's not accompanied by magnanimity and reconciliation.