[sobkas]

> My friend: "I can't pay my rent."

> Me: "Whats your venmo".

> 4 minutes later....

> My friend: "wtf I can't pay this back"

> Me: "Good i don't do loans"

> Put in the cash or effort. When you help someone down, they never forget.

Yep, they will never forget humiliation of depending on someone else's charity and will always hate you for it. But because it would be impolite to say it straight to your face they will find other ways to get back at you.

Also you are no savior if your fortune depends on a system(all of them, not only obvious one) that destroyed their lives.

[ransom1538]

"Yep, they will never forget humiliation of depending on someone else's charity"

Wow. What a horrible way to view the world.

[progman32]

I have friends like this. They fought super hard and sacrificed a lot to get themselves and their families where they are. Super kind and generous people. Getting unsolicited gifts like this feels like a big slap in the face of what they've accomplished. I'm not saying they're right to feel this way. But it's something that needs to be considered.

[matwood]

It's not really unsolicited if the friend just told you they can't pay their rent. If they were the stoic you write about, they wouldn't have mentioned it at all.

[mrguyorama]

If someone is legitimately trying to help you, and it makes you feel bad, what you need is therapy, not someone else ignoring your struggles.

[progman32]

Yes this would be mortifying to some people. I noticed my friend was having trouble with their car jack and dropped off a new one for them. They felt humiliated. Not saying don't do it, but be sure you know your friend if you do this. The "and you can't pay me back" is maybe the ouchiest part. It's unfortunate because the person giving the gift is usually genuinely trying to help, only to be slapped in the face.