[charlie0]

I think that hard times is what really creates that sense of brotherhood. Unfortunately, in the modern western world, it has become really easy to avoid serious hardships once you get even to a modest level of income. I've wanted to do challenging things with acquaintances of mine, but they just don't pan out. I invite people to the gym, I invite them on long hikes, I ask them to do something challenging with me, but it's so easy go to just stay at home and order Doordash. Once you get older a lot of people have other responsibilities and making new best friend just drops down the lost of priorities. I've just gotten used to it. I try to find satisfaction in life through what I can directly do, and not what others can do for me (or with me).

[themacguffinman]

Is that unfortunate? If you've managed to avoid serious hardships with a modest level of income, do you need that sense of brotherhood? Brotherhood is forged in hard times because it's necessary in hard times. It strikes me a bit like looking for an emergency prepper kit in a land that doesn't have serious natural disasters. It's as if you're saying the old Chinese curse to yourself "may you live in interesting times".

[germinalphrase]

I couldn’t disagree more strongly. Not everything is War or Peace, and everyone is going to to struggle with something significant in life. Having deep, trusting bonds (brotherhood) is a source of security, even if the challenge is as boring and common as a passing illness.

[zwkrt]

I think hard times are a sufficient but not necessary condition. The reason that hard times create close relationships is because in a hard time you have to really be real with the people around you. You have to have mutual trust and mutual vulnerability.

These are things you can have even in good times. Ideally we would have them and not have hard times. But I think many people are not really interested in opening up in this way without an external catalyst.

[tomjakubowski]

Plenty of people go to the gym and go hiking. If you want friends who challenge themselves that way, maybe you should seek the ones who already are there.

[snickerer]

Oh Charlie, I read this, and immediately I want to go hiking with you.