If there's one thing we learned since highways joined us (thanks Eisenhower) its that 'one more lane' will never reduce traffic thanks to the principle of induced demand. Each time you add a lane, transit times go down which in turn induces more people to drive, which in turn brings traffic right back up to where it was.
What does help people get where they're going is transit which is something that gets exponentially better and more realistic with density. Hong Kong has trains every 1.9 minutes on the Island Line. Their worst case is every 10 minutes to Disneyland and 15 minutes to the airport during weekdays. [1]
Frankly, more infrastructure should never mean more highways.
But while I'm here let me answer the rest of your questions directly:
> So, you are arguing that the existing population should want to have their lives upended...
Why? If they own the land they decide what happens to it. If they don't it wasn't really their decision in the first place.
> ... real estate taxes raised ...
Absolutely, prop 13 is silly. I say this as an SF downtown homeowner.
> ... schools over-crowded ...
Nope, we'd build more.
> ... family and friends priced out of their homes ...
No, that's what's happening right now thanks to not building homes. Anyone who owns their home would see affordability remain the same and anyone who rents would see it improve.
> ... quaint neighborhoods turned into skyscraper projects ...
Some of them for sure! If you don't want a plot of land used to maximize utility, buy it. The fundamental ideal of property rights in the United States is that each can do what they want with their own property. If you want to live in a city where nobody wants anything other than low-rise development, move to a city with other like-minded folks or buy them out. Don't boat anchor development in one of the highest demand areas on earth to suit the minority opinion.
> ... and endless highway ...
Definitely not see above.
> ... and infrastructure projects to accommodate the employees of new industry ...
More people => more infrastructure => more/expanded highways