[geekagirl]

You sound like me two years ago -- just replace "people on HN" with "classmates". I had clinical depression.

It had very little to do with my ability and everything to do with stress levels, brain chemistry and horrible feedback loops.

My advise for you: You need to stop beating yourself up. You're not worthless. You're not inadequate. Stop saying you'll "never" get there. Don't let that inner voice tell you anything you wouldn't tell your wife/child/best friend. I'm not saying it's an easy thing to do, but it's worth the trouble.