[adrianwaj]

Sounds like you're depressed and jealous. Not a good thing. You might want to ask yourself why you worked in that dead-end job for 6 years, did you not know about HN during that time?

You can start by getting some sunshine for Vitamin D, and do some physical exercise of some sort, beyond that, you have to set yourself some goals, however small.

What sort of person do you wish to become when you become That Hacker? Perhaps you could give something to charity or start answering some questions on SO to feel better about yourself, or at least chrystalize your current knowledge.

I would also look at any heavy metal toxicity you might have.

[dazedconfused]

Thank you.

No I didn't know about HN back then...the only reason I stayed in that job was because I had to pay for my education, I worked and went to school at the same time.

What do you mean by heavy metal toxicity?

[adrianwaj]

I am thinking one of the most common sources: Mercury toxicity from amalgam fillings. They can test your hair for it. I'd look at getting some tests done although I've never gone down that route myself so can't advise. Do you have a passion for anything, or only feeling bad about yourself and your situation? Have you read the Power of Now, it says to separate your life from your life situation?

[dazedconfused]

Oh I see...what makes you think I may have that? It might be possible...I have had fillings.

I don't really have a passion I am obsessed with being successful, I feel I've wasted 6 years of my life that I will never get back, I feel that I have not accomplished anything worthwhile and for some reason I constantly feel jealous of everyone else's success, this has made me bitter too.

[adrianwaj]

Yes, yes, could well be Mercury toxicity, especially if you've had many large ones, for a long period of time.

I was reading that: "Amalgam Fillings Since 1970s Unstable: The type of mercury fillings that began to be used during the last couple of decades, non-gamma-2 (high copper), releases many times more mercury than the older style of amalgam fillings."

http://www.holisticmed.com/dental/amalgam/

Start getting into health is my tip, you can't lose. The Paleo diet is very popular right now, check it out.

"With raw in general, I have noticed more stamina and energy, and less need for sleep, greater clarity of thought, faster healing, looking younger, fewer joint problems, etc. the usual."

http://old.rawpaleodiet.com/michael-grogan/