[sometimeshuman]

"Tell the right stories about yourself."

I wake up feeling stiff and every morning repeat the "story" that I'm starting to feel old. However, I often ask my 83 year old dad if he experiences the same and he always says no.

Then last week my dad said, "you know I might, but I don't think about it". So this past week I just wake up and start moving and try not be aware of the minor pain from stiffness. It goes away quickly and I avoid telling myself "I am feeling old".

Why focus on something that doesn't serve you if you can tune it out.

[criddell]

When I was 8 or 9, I would never simply step on or off a curb. That was less fun than hopping or jumping or sliding. I would watch how the people of my neighborhood moved and wondered why so few people over the age of 14 tried to never step on a crack or only step on cracks. Why are there so few 30 year olds doing wheelies on their bike? I couldn't imagine that I would ever want to stop moving through my day in a maximally fun way.

Today I'm 52 and I still watch and think about how people move around. I understand that a 70 year old falling is different than a 10 year old, but I find myself seeing if I can go up or down the stairs four at a time. I have noticed that my flexibility and balance isn't what it used to be and I'm trying to work on that. I know I can only slow my physical decline, but it's worth doing.

[sharadov]

44 here, started doing wheelies again, and was able to do one for a few meters, and my 10 year old gasped " Dad that was awesome". Felt, so proud :->)

[groby_b]

> Why focus on something that doesn't serve you if you can tune it out.

Because you don't necessarily know if it serves you.

You could wake up stiff because you overdid your workout. That's a pretty valuable signal telling you to take it easy with those particular muscle groups.

You could wake up stiff because you have an injury. (E.g. a torn meniscus). That's a great signal to go see a doctor.

You could wake up stiff because you have a shitty mattress. That's a good signal to buy a better mattress.

You could wake up stiff because you spent yet another 12 hours sitting in front of the computer - that makes a great signal to both stretch and put a few more breaks into your workday.

Or you might indeed be stiff if it's low-grade systemic inflammation (a.k.a "being old"), and even then it might be a signal that maybe you can fix your nutrition.

Yes, you can just power through most of these, but... why would you? It does serve you. Just in an indirect way, signalling you what is not going well. The key point here is that in many cases, you can reframe the story from "I'm old" to "something is suboptimal, and I can improve it", moving from a passive to an active participant.

No, of course that's not always possible. There are many reasons why we could feel bad and we don't have agency at all - but I'd always suggest at least getting to the root of "why do I feel this way" before ignoring it.

[kubami]

I don't think OP meant in general not thinking about a stiff back. OP was talking about telling yourself the story that you have a stiff back because you're getting older.

[groby_b]

I hope so. I posted for the sake of people who (like past me) took the "don't tell yourself a story" advice too far. Turns out if possible, you want to root cause your issues before dismissing. :)

[pythonbase]

>> Why focus on something that doesn't serve you if you can tune it out.

Great point. This would apply to all potentially negative stuff and the noise out there in general. For instance, I have recently try to tune out the political noise around me. Stop watching news, limiting news sites to couple of times a day etc. And it really helped a lot. Less stress due to factors that are beyond my reach.

[brewtide]

Absolutely. I tell my kids all the time that one only has so much energy, and that I choose to spend my energy on things I can actually put effort into changing while the things I have basically little or no bearing on are paid some attention, but I don't let them worry me too much.

"It is what it is" applies to so many modern world 'stresses'. Certainly makes life far easier to deal with and when the energy one does have is spent wisely, individual growth also trends upwards. Win win.

[inglor_cz]

"I wake up feeling stiff"

Yoga/Tai-Chi may help with that. I used to feel stiff until I started exercising regularly. Muscles and sinews need some stretching and contraction to stay healthy.

[grecy]

Just like the people you meet who divorced or got fired 20 years ago and still bring it up at every opportunity

[bergenty]

This also works with depression but try telling the internet that.

[inglor_cz]

Depends on the severity, much like with that stiffness.

Mere stiffness you can walk away. Severe arthritis is a different story.

Bad mood can be dispelled. Severe depression of the kind where people actually commit suicide to escape the torment is a different story.

It is possible that depression is overrated on the Internet as of today. But I won't forget a 16th century "black book" entry from rural Czechia, which concerned investigation of a random peasant boy who hanged himself in a barn. The way that the witnesses described his behavior prior to the deed was textbook depression as we know it today, even though the very word didn't exist yet and the incident was considered work of the Devil.