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Just listen. Be thoughtful. Let him lean on you. It will be a heavy burden, but for those you love, no burden is too great. My brother-in-law passed about 6 years ago, after dealing with strokes, seizures, etc. I was in the room with my sister-in-law and him when they took him off life support (no brain activity). His illness was long, and he suffered. I wished he hadn't. He was a great guy, and I miss him. My SIL has a large extended family, and we all helped out. Sometimes, just being in the same room, bringing things over, listening is just what the (real) doctors order. Just be there, be present. Look for him struggling with something, and help him do that thing. Don't ask, don't push your way in to it. If it looks like he can't do simple things, let him grieve, and you handle those. He will need processing time. Help him get it. Some people need to be busy with physical things to process. Some people need to be alone to process. But they need people nearby, even if alone. Everyone is different, every person processes grief differently. There's no real "right" way for this. And be aware that after a time, he may want to change some things in his life, to not be reminded of this time. This is not necessarily burying it. It is moving on. |