[jrochkind1]

Same, but working for nonprofits is unlikely to make you the salaries you hear about on HN. Same for small/non-IT companies, I'd guess?

I do feel like OP should definitely start looking at other jobs though, it seems likely they can find something with a more reasonable schedule.

Technically, they didn't even ask for 9-5 strictly, they asked for "structured", and I think the implication is: predictable, regular. Even if it includes some predictable, regular scheduled evening time? This seems to me like it should be do-able, but I'm not sure -- I work in nonprofit sector, where it definitely is.

[solardev]

Yeah, I think non-tech in general pays less, and doesn't share equity or whatever. But it pays in other ways: great coworkers, generally sane management (often a bit disorganized, but at least generally people who I can trust and am happy to work alongside, as opposed to the ruthless bloodsucking monsters you sometimes hear about in big tech). And tremendously better work-life balance. I've never had to crunch, release or not, and I've never had anyone yell at me for anything... I would've walked out the door if they had tried, or if they had similarly demeaned a coworker. Shrug. My life and dignity are more important than a FAANG salary. What good is, say, FIRE (the early retirement at any cost movement) if you live the prime years of your life in misery? I'd prefer a happy and modest life any day over luxury indentured servitude with the hope of some future payoff.

That's not to say you should live in abject poverty, but that jobs and careers can offer more fulfillment than simple dollars in a paycheck. I've loved all the jobs I've ever had, because I picked them carefully and chose them holistically, not just based on the highest bidder. Work culture matters a LOT... the people you work with become another family, and the good ones care about you and don't want you to work late just the same as I wouldn't want anyone to sacrifice their kids or their mental health or their passions for work -- coworker, boss, founder, anything.

EVERY job I've ever held, except maybe early retail when I was young, held similar attitudes... let's get together, work hard, respect boundaries, respect autonomy and each others' lives. Most importantly, we all thought of each other as people first and employees/managers/owners second, both before but especially after covid when everyone's private lives became a regular part of their online lives.

If your work environment is actively toxic, man, get the hell out of there. It's not worth whatever they're paying you. You could be happy with much, much less.