... or husband or partner ... but yes, almost always wife.
This, to me, is the real gamechanger. There is a often gigantic difference in family workload between the primary caretaker and the other parent (if any), even when they both work. Additionally, this workload is often wildly underestimated by secondary caretakers.
In my observations, a secondary caretaker will often think "I still drop off my kids in school, I read a story at night, I bring them to sports practice, I'm being a good parent.". And yes they are, they are helping and having great "quality time" with their kids.
But in terms of total time invested, if you actually count the hours (I have), it's a small fraction of a primary caretaker. Roughly between 1/3 and 1/2 for invested secondary caretakers, which makes a huge difference when we're talking about, say, 20 vs 40 or 60 hours per week.
Who feeds them? Dresses them up? Helps with homework? Stays home with them when they are sick? And that's without even touching on the mental workload.
my four year old can dress himself. my 10 year old can cook and make breakfast or lunch for himself and his little brother. not every day, only occasionally on weekends, but it helps. breakfast and lunch is also served in school. the older one helps with housework. the kids can wash themselves and go to bed on their own. that really takes care of most of the work.
i work from home. we spend plenty of time together. doing housework is family time.
there is no homework. if the kids come home with work that they need help with, then i'll have a talk with the teacher. homework is a practice that should be abolished. but if it is given, it should be tasks that the kids can do on their own in order to practice what they learned. if a child can not do their homework on their own, then by definition the teacher didn't teach them yet (or failed), and the homework was not appropriate. homework is not the place for the children to catch up what they didn't learn in school.
Either their day somehow magically has more than 24 hours (maybe they live on venus?) or they are .. how to say this .. lying?
I can assure You they are making a lot of compromises. Add a little bit of compounding around skills and resources and they achivements can look magical, but most of it its just smoke and mirrors. And of course there is outsourcing of everything that is not essential to their image (that include child upbringing also). It's amazing how much time You can get back when You have Your private valet and helicopter pilot on standby (I have witnessed this first hand).
This, to me, is the real gamechanger. There is a often gigantic difference in family workload between the primary caretaker and the other parent (if any), even when they both work. Additionally, this workload is often wildly underestimated by secondary caretakers.
In my observations, a secondary caretaker will often think "I still drop off my kids in school, I read a story at night, I bring them to sports practice, I'm being a good parent.". And yes they are, they are helping and having great "quality time" with their kids.
But in terms of total time invested, if you actually count the hours (I have), it's a small fraction of a primary caretaker. Roughly between 1/3 and 1/2 for invested secondary caretakers, which makes a huge difference when we're talking about, say, 20 vs 40 or 60 hours per week.
Who feeds them? Dresses them up? Helps with homework? Stays home with them when they are sick? And that's without even touching on the mental workload.