[notch656a]

Even if you want to be a different parent than your parents, it can be difficult to change the course when you don't have that experience to draw off of. You're both genetically and culturally the product of your parents, and naturally any perceived negativity about your parents has an influence that commonly pushes you towards that direction. It's not unusual to read stories of people who had abusive parents, that then went on to abuse their child, even though they never wanted to be that way. While we can make conscious choices, it's doubtful you have complete free will to separate from genetic and culture tendencies.