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I stopped drinking around 6 weeks ago. Due to my indolent WFH lifestyle and drinking heavily after work to "relax", I gradually developed back pain which eventually made it impossible to get to sleep. Drinking myself into a stupor made it all to easy to sit, for hours on end, in front of a tv or computer, endlessly consuming while shirking my responsibilities to myself, not least of all exercise. I always knew that it was leading to a bad place, but it got to the point where I could not physically continue. That, and reducing inflammation were my primary motivators. Being continuously sober for an extended period of time has revealed to me that there are likely other reasons for my misuse of alcohol, I think I've been dealing with low-level anxiety and procrastination, making it difficult to quiet my mind, go to bed on time, etc. Part of this is probably due to the effects of abruptly quitting a crutch I've leaned on for a long time, but my conscience is telling me that there's more beneath the surface which needs to be addressed. I would say that the single biggest factor in keeping my roll going is this: I have admitted to myself that I do have a problem with alcohol, and that some people are just not capable of enjoying alcohol responsibly, and I am probably one of them. The inner voice telling me "go on, it's normal to have one or two at the weekend, everyone does it" has been quieted, because I know that I am not one of those people who stop at one or two. And that is fine by me. |