[a_brawling_boo]

I've found that people you hang out with understand, if they are good people they will go out of their way to accommodate you; la croix or other carbonated drinks helps with the appearance of 'not drinking' but still holding a beverage in your hand. And a few times recently it actually felt good to say 'thanks, but I don't drink' or telling the doctor or insurance person you don't drink which ends the follow up questions regarding booze, feels great.

And don't hate yourself, try to think about what someone who loves you would say or think instead of yourself since you are your own worst critic, life is about the process not the goal, when you 'fail' try to be open and honest about the things that triggered you and actively try to avoid or replace those things in your life when you are not tempted.