[afarrell]

What would you say to her about this if the most important thing was the long-term health of the relationship?

Healthy relationships rely on mutual trust and mutual understanding.

If you are on this site, I imagine that your ability to be fully present in your job as you practice your craft is important to you. If you're talking about your girlfriend, I imagine that your ability to not be worrying about project timeline delays outside of work hours so you can be fully present with her outside of work hours is important to both of you. I imagine that it is important for you to have a relationship where you trust her to understand you and you trust her not to jump to a conclusion that you are an asshole.

I imagine those things are more important to you than the awkwardness, discomfort, and risk that comes with asking her to have a real serious conversation where you start by saying the things that matter to you.