If possible, try to spend more time with people who espouse these desired characteristics and less time with those who don't.
Finally, conversation should be...fun...if possible. If you hack your way to being 100% in control of things all the time, then how much fun is that going to be for others?
>" Start with writing."
Many people are very good at writing. When you read them, we get excited to talk to them face to face and discover them till we found out they are poor at verbal communication.