[dylan604]

Does a mall ninja ride a Segway?

[RajT88]

Sure, as long as they have a bunch of knives and guns and swords and shit.

The original "Mall Ninja" story unironically talked about wheeling around in a golf cart. It's a short stone's throw to a segway from there.

https://lonelymachines.org/mall-ninjas/

[dylan604]

Does the ninja need to be dressed in traditional ninja attire or can they cosplay as a mall cop?

[justinclift]

TLDR. Some of the Mall Ninja's comments seem to have been prophetic though:

> What good are the cops going to be if a shooter shows up at your > workplace??? How about your kid’s school, remember Columbine? I’ll > tell you what the cops will do, call the SWAT team and screw > around trying to locate the front door for 30 minutes, ...

;)

[wcerfgba]

This was hilarious, thanks for sharing!