| “make conscience of the idle rovings of our braines” and “enter… those darke closets of thy heart” I've been battling a few addictions recently. None so severe that they impacted my health or relationships in any major way, and so I lived with these habits very functionally for most of my adult life. It's incredible the kind of grip a habit can have on you. Despite how much I tried to change, that grip only grew tighter. It wasn't until I joined a 12 step program and met people who were like me that I started the process of unwinding. Making conscience every thought that led to my negative behaviors was the first step. The next giant hurdle was de-identifying with those thoughts and behaviors, which for me was probably the hardest part. Probably the best tool for me right now is like the quote says, to just really examine your thoughts and honestly tell yourself why you're having the craving/urge. If you can really be honest about it and recognize your addiction is only going to make the situation worse, I find you can start to "dampen" the craving. It suddenly isn't as appealing. It's not easy though, for every time I can successfully introspect and tell myself an honest, hard truth, there's 10 times I tell a self-lie and let myself believe it simply because to know otherwise would be too big a burden to bear in that moment I didn't last long in the 12 step program, maybe it's not exactly for me. But a lot of what's talked about in this article is also part of 12 step: self-awareness, daily journaling and gratitude, spiritualizing others, having a community to go through the process with, etc. Even though I didn't continue with it, the few meetings I attended were honestly life changing and I highly recommend anyone who thinks they may have an addiction problem (pro tip: if you arent sure but a specific behavior came to mind, you probably do) to try one out. There's plenty for all kinds of addictions, turns out you're not alone |