[teraflop]

The magic rocks and other physical devices are old hat. For $60, you can just call Machina Dynamica's phone number, and they'll play a 20-second "series of mechanical pulses" which remotely transforms your phone onto exotic matter, thereby severing its quantum connection to the "cell phone information field" that would otherwise be degrading the quality of every audio/video device in your home.

http://www.machinadynamica.com/machina60.htm