[eyelidlessness]

You’re experiencing burnout. It’s not a rut in the sense that it can be mentally adapted into something else, it’s exhaustion. You don’t just deserve, you need, time to recover from it, and you need a commitment to your wellbeing to do that.

I’m saying this from experience at the wrong end of answering this question, or at least addressing the same underlying cause. I’m over two years into severe burnout and have no idea if I’ll ever recover. I made the wrong choice by committing to my job over what my body and mind were telling me.

Get some rest, before your body forces you to do it. And before you build a cycling habit of it. You’re clearly smart. You’ll get to chase all the career things you want to, but you’ll only enjoy them if you take care of yourself along the way.

And yes, do seek therapy if that’s something you’re open to. It can help, especially if you’re in a place where you can go in with trust. Which it sounds like you are.