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I spent 2-3 years alone, I alienated my friends and pursued my interests, spent 1/3 of my spare time playing CSGO, 1/3 of the time crafting music, and 1/3 of the time writing software and coming up with ideas for startups and web projects. Other than work, I was truly isolated. Half of me was completely content with the fact that I had my own space, my solitude, my quiet space, my time. I was in control. Yet, after years of this, heck... even after months of this, something starts ticking in your brain... that feeling that you are missing out on things. Since then I managed to connect with people, through gaming, but later on in real life, that became a huge part of who I am. I also opened up to coworkers, and even though anxiety and depression can be a massive burden and make it really hard to "open up", I fought through it, through the panic attacks and everything, and now I feel like I'm finally starting to appreciate company. Yet, I love being alone. I love creating, I love my space, and I love being in control of my time, as it is finite, and we can control how to spend it... But it feel nice to let other people into that time, and also to give some of it up to spend time with others; we are all humans with a million thoughts and a million things troubling us and pulling us in all sorts of directions... That said, I think solitude has massive benefits as well; over time it allows you to read yourself, which in turn helps you to read others. To discover how your mind ticks is to discover how we all differ, and social clues notwithstanding, it does help progress towards a more social behavior. Solitude as well as companionship both are indispensable in the long term; the key is to balance both. One time I went to a hotel next to a waterfall in northern Mexico for 3 days without a mobile phone... it was bliss. Yet at the same time I recall festivals with friends, barbecues, and gaming nights with the same fondness. All it takes is time and thoughtfulness. |