[leoqa]

This is a hot take from another new parent.

Let them fire you and collect unemployment while you recover. Go get a survival job that’s covers insurance and rent if needed. Sell stuff, get rid of your extra car etc. Your goal is to survive the next year with your baby and partner.

You need to forget about work, the most important thing will be helping your partner. It’s easy for fathers to conveniently choose to work (or stress over work- be present, fuck work!) while the mother bears the burden. Having a job is not an excuse to be lazy or to avoid responsibility for the child. My brother’s both took the easy way out, letting their wife’s become the childcare leader, shouldering the emotional burden, and their wives have to plan/delegate everything. That has fostered resentment and eroded their relationships.

The next year is going to be super challenging but you will grow new muscles, the baby will settle into a rhythm and you’ll be able to poke your head up to find a better job. In the grand scheme, you can write code and you’ll be middle class (or better). A 1 year gap is not going to break you.