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by astorsnk
1373 days ago
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>> At the moment, the only thing that really and truly matters is your wife/partner's health and your baby. Maybe it’s just the phrasing of this and it’s intended differently, but it seems like terrible advice. You should never put your own mental health last. If you’re in a hole you’re not going to be able to help anyone else. If OP has just found out they’re having a baby they likely have some time. If they use that time to focus on themselves and get themselves in a better position they can be in a much better mental state to help when the baby actually arrives. The statement I quoted reads like the OP doesn’t matter and he should accept that. But maybe I’m not understanding your intention fully. |
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His post expresses a great deal of anxiety over his financial circumstances and job performance -- which are valid, and, importantly, are problems that can be solved later. My intention was to convey that fretting about finding a new job or improving current job performance are NOT where OP's energy should be going right now, even if it seems on the surface like a new job will solve all of his problems.
OP should focus that mental energy on:
a) getting parental leave so that he can b) improve his mental health and c) support his partner and his new baby.
Good luck, OP! Just remember that you are not the only person who has ever become a new Dad, and you are going to get through this! I'm wishing you all the best for your family!