[legitster]

Dude! Congrats! This is a magical time. Don't waste it by worrying.

Stay at your job. Milk them for whatever paternity leave they will give you. And if you announce you are going on a long paternity leave, they are not going to fire you right before you leave. DO NOT SWITCH JOBS NOW.

When the hospital sends you the bill - argue, argue, argue. They did stupid stuff to us like bill both my wife and the child for all the same delivery line items ("guys, it was the same procedure!"). Get it to a reasonable number and put it on a payment plan.

Use the paternity leave to start looking for jobs. You'll have time and a clear head. And a much bigger perspective on life. You may even find that with the change, you were missed at work and that the burnout seems far and distant.

After that, having a kid is cheap. (At least at first). Get yourself a Costco membership. The first year we spent maybe $35 a month on diapers and $45 a month on formula. Clothes and furniture and toys other people will be stoked to provide for you. At tax season, enjoy getting a few thousand extra dollars back.

Welcome to the next phase of your life. I wish you and your growing family much happiness.

[boopboopbadoop]

Agreed, it’s not expensive to start. Just wanted to add that if you don’t inherit or are not gifted stuff from friends and family for your kid that you need, check second hand stores and/or kijiji/Craigslist/etc first. Many items are 1/5 of the cost of buying it new, and a lot of the time it’s brand new anyways.

It does get expensive if you have to pay for care. Not sure where you live OP, or what your support system is like from family, so that may or may not be an issue.

[legitster]

The wife wanted to stay at home for the first few years anyway and we made it work. Infant care is fundamentally inefficient and expensive, but people too easily dismiss some of the tax benefits you may be eligible for. At least at our income level, almost half of daycare expenses we get back at tax time.

[leoqa]

Just to add another data point. This last year due to the shortage, we’re spending 200/mo on formula alone.

[boopboopbadoop]

To this point, consider breastfeeding. I won’t comment on nutritional differences, but you save money at the cost of time/flexibility.

[MandieD]

Pumping. It ended up that I had to do it if I wanted my kid to have my milk (would he have starved 100 years ago? No idea!) but it had the excellent side benefit of being able to separate output from input, and my husband was able to pop the bottle into the little gaping mouth, and I got to where I could get all the little guy could drink and some extra in three long blocks per day.

Even if direct nursing is going well, I highly recommend doing some pumping along the way from early on so that if/when she needs to be away from the baby for a few hours, it's not as big a deal.

[csixty4]

I know you mean well with this comment but I doubt there's anyone who gives birth these days who doesn't consider breastfeeding. The hospital's push it HARD and we couldn't leave the hospital without a literal class in it.

Not everyone has an easy time of it though. They either can't produce any or not enough and the combination of this pressure and post-partum depression can be life-threatening. There's a lot more that goes into the decision to formula feed than cost.

[boopboopbadoop]

I see what you mean, but my point was around the cost saving aspect of it. Maybe everyone considers that aspect, but I figured it’s worth mentioning since once you go down the formula path, it’s hard/impossible to go back.

[legitster]

Oof. I've heard. Is it still that bad at Costco? I was under the impression they were rationing out their supplies well enough now and keeping prices reasonable.

[TrickleDefault]

> When the hospital sends you the bill - argue, argue, argue.

As someone who comes from a country with single-payer healthcare, this sentence made me feel really sad. I knew some people around the world have to pay for hospital trips, but for some reason I never even considered that having a baby could cost the parents money.

[csixty4]

Often times it's thousands of dollars even with insurance. We were lucky in that we only had a $20 copay I think.

[hollywood_court]

I second the part about having a kid is cheap. I was so afraid of the expenses, but the child caused us to experience significant lifestyle changes that in turn saved us significant money.