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by WastingMyTime89 1373 days ago
OP seems to currently be employed as a programmer, on the verge of having a kid and very stressed. He is not into abject poverty yet. Relaxing is a good advice actually. People don’t take good decision under intense stress. That’s why burnout is so pernicious. It removes your ability to objectively look at what’s happening.

Even if the situation requires actions, calming down and taking the time necessary to realise you actually have space to work on solutions is always a good first step.
1 comments
toomuchtodo 1373 days ago
Relaxing is probably the wrong word. You should approach the situation like you’re a first responder arriving at the crash scene: prepared to act and stowing your emotion. Maybe they can take time? Depends on burn rate, savings, and estimated time to next role. Can’t know without insight into OPs finances.

I agree panicking doesn’t help; it’s a call to action. When not at their day job, their job is to find a new job outside of business hours.

(I would propose different advice for someone not in the US, who might have parental leave available and a more robust social safety system)

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WastingMyTime89 1373 days ago
> Relaxing is probably the wrong word. You should approach the situation like you’re a first responder arriving at the crash scene: prepared to act and stowing your emotion.

I don’t think that’s a good advice. Life is not a crash scene where minutes count.

Realistically we are talking about weeks here. The situation is not that different today than yesterday and will be mostly the same tomorrow.

OP has time to take a breath, remember that they have a partner having the kid with them and who they can talk to, take a calm look at the situation as a whole which is highly unlikely to be as bad as he paints it (realistically how unemployable can be someone who currently holds a steady job) and then plans actions for the next few months.

The original comment was spot on in a lot of way. Having a kid is indeed a life changing event but it’s good remembering plenty of people went through it and survived.

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