[cutierust]

On that note,is there a not self hosted but reasonably popular chat service that i don't know of where i can give people my username a la discord and have them chat with me? I cannot continue to use discord in good conscience

[driminicus]

Closest thing would be either XMPP or matrix. Whether either of these is good enough for your usecase is up to you.

[mxuribe]

Others have noted altertnatives like mattermost, etc....But if still interested in matrix, you can always pay for providers to host it for you (and of course manage everything related to infrastructure, etc.)...plus, some charge a tiny bit more per each bridge to connect your account to discord, Telegrma, etc. In essence, you have a single account - through a paid matrix provider - but can interact with your friends on other networks. See: https://matrix.org/hosting/

[djbusby]

Mattermost?