[xeromal]

Wife: Do I look fat?

Me, speaking plainly and clearly, Yes

Child: is the macaroni statue I made of you pretty?

Me, speaking plainly and clearly, no, it's hoorendous

[wombatpm]

Wife: Do I look fat?

Me: Only when compared to this stunning macaroni statue.

I prefer to dodge answers and let others argue it out

[nicoburns]

Honestly, I wish people took this approach more often.

Yes you look fat, and incredibly sexy.

No, it’s not pretty, but I love that you’ve made a statue of me.