|
I’m old Gen Z, and admit that I don’t have the time or perspective to really compare past and present, and despite how often this sort of take is reasonably dismissed as grumpy cynicism: I am inclined to agree. I’ve made a priority of improving the way in which I communicate the last few years, and think I’ve made genuine progress. Stuff like actively listening, avoiding interruption, making peace with someone explaining something I already understand, etc… But after all this, I’ve come to realize that I wasn’t as relatively bad at conversation as I thought I was when I started. So many of my peers struggle with this. There is so much showing others this thing or that, always asymmetrically. There is a pervasive fear of wasting the other persons’ time - I think this has to do with us growing up with instant dopamine available in our palms. There is so much anxiety in communication. There is a fear of being wrong, or a fear of speaking without trivial qualification. And most importantly: there is a failure to understand the effort required to listen well. This is just my experience, and my own analysis as it relates to my life. I’m aware that it comes across as cynical, but thought it might be worth sharing here. We need to get our attention back, and see the value (without forcing) of relating to others. It makes the gems stand out even more, but I wish the art of conversation was something people actively considered when they thought about their own personality, or when they examined their anxieties. |
And yeah, developing the ability to listen to what people are saying without getting overwhelmed by/your internal stream of thoughts makes listening a lot more interesting and more useful. Much misunderstanding can be avoided and many interesting things to ask about are only subtly hinted at the first time.