[trevorishere]

Eating out alone really hurts. It makes you feel that much more _alone_ because nearly everyone else is with their SO, a party, friend, etc. Bringing a phone is only a distraction to get through waiting for the meal to arrive.

I dislike it more than being alone at home.

[jakey_bakey]

It's interesting the disparity in our experiences. I absolutely relish the chance to have an hour entirely to myself, get a nice meal without cleaning up after, have a beer or two, watch Netflix!

I also used to be a consultant, so there's that...

[listenallyall]

This is a pretty tone-deaf response. If you rarely get an hour alone, that means you're around others all the time, most likely a family and some good friends. While the poster you responded to is a solitary, lonely person. For you, dining alone is a respite, for him it is an amplification of his loneliness. Your inability to conceive of such a person and your brushing aside of his feelings is the exact thing that makes loneliness painful.

[listenallyall]

jakey_bakey to a homeless person: "Why so down? I absolutely relish the chance to go camping, sleep outdoors, cook a meal over a real fire. Isn't it interesting the disparity in our experiences?"

[mynameishere]

You watch Netflix in a restaurant?

[yupper32]

I'll usually listen to podcasts when alone as a restaurant. If I've got a wall seat where video won't distract people, I'll certainly sometimes bring up youtube/netflix. Might be a bit rude to the other patrons depending on the restaurant to watch videos in their view while eating.

Why are you so surprised, though? Am I supposed to just sit there and stare at the wall?

[tomcam]

Thanks for sharing. That's a rough situation, and I hope you can get past it somehow. I have always regarded a meal out alone as a wonderful thing, or at least until I got too fat to make that a good life choice. I used it as an ideal time to study, and studying helped me be a success. Later it was doubly enjoyable: I could study, and I knew that had helped me move forward in life. For that reason I am just as happy to be at Del Taco or McDonald's as a fine dining establishment. Actually more happy b/c no wait staff to interrupt.

[jakzurr]

Wow, I had forgotten! Used to feel that way before I had SO. Even after breaking up, it just didn't matter after that.

Thanks for the memory. Also, I'd have to say, you'll probably feel much more comfortable in time. But I admit, I don't go anywhere without a few books on my phone - just in case. ;)

[bergenty]

I don’t understand this perspective at all. Being alone is fantastic. I’m going to hazard a guess that you’ve never been in a relationship and so are effectively forced to spend time alone which at this point is associated with painful feelings for you.

[trevorishere]

I was in a relationship for 18 years.

[miked85]

Is being alone at home really a bad thing?

[trevorishere]

Not always, until the quietness and boredom sets in. You can only play games/watch YT/reddit/HN for so long.

I love being alone in the forest, though. I seek solitude on back logging roads -- places where people don't normally hike because it isn't 'pretty'.

Being alone in that context is freeing.

[tomcam]

Can't see where OP phrased it that way. What I read was "Eating out alone really hurts." This person was expressing feelings, not passing judgment.

Is sharing one's feelings really a bad thing?

[miked85]

> I dislike it more than being alone at home.

That seems like it is phrased that way? I'm not saying it's wrong to feel that way, it was just a question if even being alone at home is really such a bad thing.

[tomcam]

Seems reasonable that people could have wildly different feelings about being at home alone.

[cercatrova]

Does it hurt because you have the societal expectation that people really care whether you're alone? If so, disabuse yourself of that notion, because it's patently false.

[trevorishere]

No, I don't experience the judgement effect.

Ended a very long relationship.