[A4ET8a8uTh0]

I am using PopOS as my daily driver. I have yet to see some of the problems with hardware or drivers ( so kudos to PopOS people ). Admittedly, it is not without flaws, but.. I don't turn on Windows VM that much anymore.

<<Honestly I think there are bigger underlying issues here, like listening to your partner and understanding their needs instead of forcing your opinion on someone who doesn't want it.

You have a point although obviously I am not willing to discuss those on open forum more than that. Hmm, lets reverse roles a little and see where it takes us in a hypothetical.

If I wanted to get a Acura, but wife was pushing for a Honda, is it forcing an opinion or discussing options with a partner?

[srk_hn]

That's a discussion because by and large those two choices are equal with minute differences in perceived social status and comfort, but the fundamental function is the same.

On the other hand if I'm spending 2 minutes debugging why my microphone isn't working or why my 2nd monitor blinks out when my computer goes to sleep, that is a waste of my time. If I can figure out any general Windows or MacOS software in 5 minutes but need to read a manpage or ask my partner how to do some trivial piece of work or why I can't edit a document my coworker sent but everyone else can, you are intentionally sabotaging my life with your decisions.

There's many things that are up for negotiation and consideration in a relationship, but wasting someone's time for the sake of some self righteous quest for privacy (that argument is moot btw, considering that you have now encouraged your partner to take risky actions such as finding new software and finding new ways of doing things without a "it just works" approach) crosses a line.

If you use a cellphone, have a WiFi router, don't use a VPN with no records at the router level, or are located within a city, you already don't have privacy no matter how much you personally believe you do.

Source: I work a lot with adtech and my partner works in a personal identification business

[A4ET8a8uTh0]

<<There's many things that are up for negotiation and consideration in a relationship, but wasting someone's time for the sake of some self righteous quest for privacy

Hmm. There was some judgment in that post. A lot of people value things on different scales. My self-righteous quest is valuable to me. It is only fair I would try to preserve some of it.

<<If you use a cellphone, have a WiFi router, don't use a VPN with no records at the router level, or are located within a city, you already don't have privacy no matter how much you personally believe you do.

Privacy is not a binary proposition that can be toggled, but rather, especially in current environment, an effort and a spectrum. If already did not have privacy, why would there be such a mounted effort to ensure that those intrusions are normalized.

[srk_hn]

I too am privacy conscious. I run adblockers, I use a VPN, I use a MacOS firewall and every connection has to be explicitly allowed.

I teach my partner how to do the same. That's about the extent I can do. If you want to go further such as pay for a temp phone or VPN using gift cards or get a 2nd internet connection to the house that's setup with a perfectly firewalled router, you can do so and that is your prerogative. But when your actions affect someone else's quality of life and you take away their decision to do so, that IMO is active sabotage.

[A4ET8a8uTh0]

I do not think I can accept sabotage characterization although I can see why that image would come to mind. It is a compromise of opinions at best. Still, I think you do have a point.

[virgildotcodes]

A car is a major purchase that can have a big long term impact on your shared life and expenses.

Her choice of OS probably is not.

A better hypothetical would be - she likes Hawaiian pizza, but you’re really intent on convincing her to eat supreme pizzas every time instead.

[A4ET8a8uTh0]

You have a point in that OS is not indeed a car. Analogies are flawed by their very nature ( they are like something are open to interpretation ). It is not, however, just a question of OS. It is just happens to be a sticking point to me. If we are talking expenses, it is a laptop, which, cost-wise, can vary somewhat.

Admittedly, mid-range stuff won't go past 2k if that.

[virgildotcodes]

I mean if your issue is the budget for the laptop that’s an entirely different and totally reasonable matter.

[katbyte]

Are you sharing the Acura/Honda or is it _your_ car? Because if it’s your car then it is forcing an opinion. If it’s shared it’s different because you both will use it. (Not to mention the price difference here)

Laptop is hers, for her, to be used by her, therefor it’s her choice not yours.

Advise and suggest, but recognize in the end people are allowed to make the personal choice they want even if you don’t like it or agree.

[A4ET8a8uTh0]

Interesting. Could you define "_your_ car". Marriage, in US anyway, is effectively a business partnership with default split of 50/50. My car is her car and vice versa.

I think I already have a response I needed, but now I am just exploring other avenues of this conversation.

[katbyte]

Some couples share a car, others each have their car. One situation is very different then the other, and sharing 1 car between a couple is not even comparable to someone’s laptop - which is theirs.