[Silverback_VII]

Another interpretation would be that they are just uncovering the fact that behind many nice and kind behaviours lie some very selfish interests.

In every human interaction you can perceive the battle over power, social status and personal interests. It's just the way it is. Some people can see it, others not or just don't want to.

[bheadmaster]

> In every human interaction you can perceive the battle over power, social status and personal interests.

I agree with this in general - but some interactions really are more about mutual feeling-good, than about power struggles. Of course, those interactions are necessarily with people who are close to us.

I think the better way to put this would be:

    In every interaction *with strangers* you can perceive the battle over power, social status and personal interests.

[Silverback_VII]

Not sure if your statement is true even if I can see some relationships to be mutually beneficial. However, the term frenenemy exists for a reason. I think some part of oneself is always calculating one's own value and power in relation to others. Some of these mechanics only become apparent if there is a big change in a relationship like one of your friend or family member becoming very successful for example.

[chowells]

I don't understand. Every one of my friends is an awesome person who deserves health, happiness, and security. If they find those things, I'm happy for them. What kind of person do you mislabel "friend" if you get upset that their life is becoming better?

[bheadmaster]

Ressentiment is a real friendship killer.

It's one thing to be happy for your friend's success, it's another thing to watch your friend have all the things that you want in life but can't get, on a regular basis.

Of course, one could ask whether or not that friend has the responsibility to share his success with you, or whether or not it is right to feel that they do. Those are tricky questions, and asking them still doesn't stop ugly emotions from appearing. And since friendships are mostly based on good emotions, bad emotions cause issues.

Human interactions are simple in theory, but very complex in practice.

[boringg]

True enough. Even though i can see it doesn't mean it isnt disappointing.

Tangentially related, do you think some people can see/feel power and are drawn in while other people are relatively immune to it? There are some people in the world that i see have a very good ability to read power etc while others are hopeless (for better or worse). Seems similar to your comment thats why i ask

[Silverback_VII]

I think some people are way better at seeing these mechanics at play than others. it's what is called social intelligence I think. Yet it also can be midly depressing to see your friend trying to subtly decrease your social status by some harmless remarks when a woman is in the vicinity.

People who do not see it are most easily exploited by it. For example a person with low self-esteem who does (often unconsciously) signal it to others even if it worsens his situation even more.

[bluGill]

Most social interaction is best when it is a win-win for both parties, not manipulation for status.

However there is a visible minority that is about exploitation.