[rwbt]

Homeschooling is interesting. I like the idea, but I'd be more worried about lack of socialization with other children or any kind of group learning. Even more so if the child is slightly introverted.

This is less of an issue if children are raised in the nuclear families like in the olden days, but these days what other avenues are left where children can learn something in a group and form long term friendships other than a school?

[ckz]

-Strong- introvert here, so take this with a grain of salt, but socialization is actually one of the strong points. :)

My homeschool upbringing included team sports, solo sports clubs, debate leagues, sleepovers, group field trips, scouting, community college, and various co-op models over the years.

Here's the difference--you're more likely to have mixed-age groups (particularly for elementary) and, critically, you're going to have much heavier adult involvement and guidance.

This gives a huge benefit: The social culture isn't defined by the kids. You have highly engaged adults acting as role models and vetted by the community. There's no critical mass of same-age peers defining the culture despite the best efforts of a handful of overworked administrators.

Additionally, there's usually a large amount of community collaboration and resource sharing. A key co-op for me in later years was essentially a group of local professionals who each taught their respective fields (writing, design, forensics, mathematics, etc.). Some were other parents with kids in the program, others were local experts. You still have a peer group spread between the classes--I had perhaps 20 in my immediate circle of a similar age, and a few hundred I met statewide during competitions--but by high school, the education essentially becomes student-led private tutoring with parental guidance, with a small-group shell and social extra-curriculars.

[rayiner]

> This gives a huge benefit: The social culture isn't defined by the kids. You have highly engaged adults acting as role models and vetted by the community. There's no critical mass of same-age peers defining the culture despite the best efforts of a handful of overworked administrators

Absolutely. This is completely dysfunctional and unnatural and I don’t know how anyone thought it was a good idea.

[numeri]

You seem to have described my home schooling experience to a T. It really was a wonderful way to learn and interact with expert adults in my community. I had a lot of good role models and mentors that I wouldn't have had otherwise.

[lax4ever]

Homeschooling is not the isolation that most people think it is. In fact, the vast majority of parents who homeschool (myself included) join forces with other parents who homeschool for events, activities, and learning opportunities, all of which bring with them natural socialization while still allowing for a far more tailored learning experience than you can get in any classroom. In addition, homeschool kids typically spend more time around adults and get a better understand of the socialization standard that is expected of them, allowing them to build mature relationships easier.

[bearmode]

In school we were socialising for 6+ hours a day, every day, plus any time after school or on weekends, alongside our school work. We also had hundreds of peers that we could make friends with if we wanted to.

Compared to that I'd absolutely say homeschooling (even with occasional events and activities) is quite isolating.

[baud147258]

> In school we were socialising for 6+ hours a day

In school you spent 6 hours each day on recess/lunch break? Because I'd argue that in most classes, you aren't exactly supposed to be socializing, but rather, you know, following the class you're in

[bearmode]

Classwork alongside your peers is still part of socialising. You're still sat next to other kids, engaging in class discussions with the other kids, working on projects together with other kids all through the day.

Socialising doesn't just mean unrelated chatter.

[YesWeWill]

The problem with supporters of schools is that you have a very idealized view of what's happening there. I get it, you had it good - but you shouldn't ignore that there's a pretty significant amount of kids who don't fit into the system. Nobody wants to cancel schools completely - just different options for kids who aren't going to thrive there.

When I sat next to other kids there weren't discussions, there was fighting and stealing my stuff and teachers not reacting because they sat me next to the precious ones who couldn't do anything wrong so "they keep an eye on me" - and then punishing me for my missing stuff. When we had to do projects I was the only one working and the other kids ignoring me on purpose - but somehow that was my fault too and I got a bad grade because "it was supposed to be a team project".

Fuck schools. It's not my fault I was born with ADHD - and if you force me into the school then it's on you to learn to deal with it. But that's not going to happen - and thus homeschooling is the way for my children.

[YesWeWill]

That doesn't stop the bullies with good grades that are liked by teachers.

[YesWeWill]

Why is it so great to force children to socialize for 6+ hours with people they might hate and who might hate them? Especially in an environment where the adults are so undernumbered they can't possibly keep track of what's happening - and sometimes they participate in the hate towards specific children too?

With homeschooling, the parent sees what's happening and can protect their child. Nobody will protect them at school - especially if the school lies to the parents to save face/protect teachers. And nobody will ever pay for the destroyed family relationships this produces.

[bearmode]

Yeah, and by 'protecting' them from uncomfortable social situations, how are they going to learn to deal with them? Growth comes from discomfort, trying to constantly protect them is harmful.

[YesWeWill]

Bullshit. One thing is uncomfortable - and that happens during homeschooling more than enough, so that's how you learn to deal with it. Another thing is leading a kid to suicide and/or homicide with the uncomfortable. That's way too much, and it's caused by the teachers not protecting the kids, since they simply don't care and sometimes it's fun to them too.

How is a kid supposed to learn to deal with the uncomfortable situations when everything they do is shut down and punished by a teacher but they don't care about the actual problem and it's perpetrators? How is a 7 year old kid supposed to stand up to the teachers?

[rwbt]

I'm glad to hear first hand experience. Where does one find other parents who are homeschooling their children?

[lax4ever]

My spouse found our primary group through local Facebook searches. These homeschool groups are often called "co-ops" or "circles", but another good place is to check out your local parks, museums, family attractions like a zoo or activity center during what would be typical school hours. Engaging local parents that you see with what appear to be school aged children at these places (and I realize that can be awkward at times) is a good way to connect as well especially if your children are along.

EDIT: You can also check your local library, as the librarians are likely to know of at least one person who homeschools and might be able to connect you.

[ReallyOldLurker]

> Where does one find other parents who are homeschooling their children?

I suggest starting with your state resources (assuming you are in the USA). Here are a couple for Oregon: - http://www.ohen.org/ - https://www.thehomeschoolmom.com/homeschooling-in-oregon/

At the time that I was homeschooling my children, that was enough info to lead me to various parent and meet-up groups.

Something that isn't mentioned much - just like getting a tutor in college, its pretty easy for a parent group to pitch in for an occasional day of tutoring or lecture/review from an expert.

Negative concerns about socialization was never an issue in my experience or from what I saw with other homeschoolers, rather the opposite.

When getting started, make an honest appraisal of your teaching capabilities and home life. Be ready to admit where you have areas of weakness and stop when you reach the end of your capability and don't have support or a parent group to assist in those areas. Be ready to experiment with different learning approaches and look at it as an opportunity for yourself as much as for your child.

Like anything else in life, you and your child will get out of the experience what is put into it. Success takes effort. I think (just my opinion) too many parents let public school do the parenting. When I first started with my 3 year old (who was already reading and doing math by that age) I created a simple set of goals and a project plan and then reiterated through it as I learned more about homeschooling. By the time my second child started to read and write I had a solid sense of direction and a plan that I was able to loosely follow for the next dozen years.

One last tip: don't stick to the public school schedule. Life lasts all day long, all year long. Activities may change with the seasons, but learning doesn't need to stop just becuase summer came. Be flexible. Take lots of field trips. Have fun... OK, that was more than one last tip.

[rayiner]

School isn’t a proper place to socialize children. It completely breaks the natural model by segregating children rigidly by age group and limiting interactions between children of different ages. Instead of older, more knowledgeable kids helping socialize the ones below them, you get kids learning from equal aged peers who know nothing themselves.

It’s the reason we spend a lot of money to send our kids to private school. I don’t actually think curriculum, etc., makes a tangible difference. But our school puts K-12 all on one campus with small grade level sizes and lots of opportunities for older kids to teach younger kids. (E.g. summer camp activities for elementary school students where most of the counselors are high school students.)

[sfink]

My kids did very well in school academically, and weren't particularly bullied (which is not to say that it didn't happen at all, just that it wasn't a big part of their experiences.) They were both fairly popular amongst both students and teachers (for somewhat different reasons), and we loved most things about the school philosophy and staff.

We still pulled them out and are now homeschooling them, largely because of the "socialization" at the traditional school. My oldest in particular was retreating behind a social facade, and his innate interest in just about everything was dwindling, choked off by the social pressures of both his classmates and the sick game of "achievement" that schools present.

I'm not going to say that everything is perfect or even that everything is better. We're a family of introverts, and we all struggle with socialization, but for him the social situations that we seek out are doing far more for him than the forced interactions of traditional school.

And you really have a huge amount of control and opportunities for socialization when you're homeschooling. There are get-togethers with other homeschoolers. There are in-person classes. There are things that would traditionally be called "extracurricular" but we see as core parts of what a childhood should involve. Some people form microschools, or have parents teach rotating topics. The online stuff isn't disconnected from other humans, and as the author of this piece says, it's not the "let's transplant our usual methods on top of Zoom!" bullshit that so many people have suffered with.

There certainly are tradeoffs and tension. If you want self-paced, it's hard to stick with a known cohort of other kids. It requires quite a bit of privilege to have the time and opportunity to shepherd this stuff through. I am greatly indebted to my wife for setting things up and managing them. There's no way it would happen if we were both still working full-time. And it won't work as well for some people—it's not the same for every kid or every family.

That's kind of the whole point.

[gpm]

I was home schooled for several years as a child. Socialization wasn't really an issue, because there was a community of home schoolers and we went to a ton of group events with other home schoolers.

Things like a chess club, book club, lego robotics team, renting out a gym, doing science experiments, playing dungeons and dragons, and so on. This was slightly before the era of kids having cell phones, but we made use of landlines to keep in touch as well.

That said, it obviously depends a huge amount on the parents, and requires a huge amount of time and effort on their part. While I think it was a mostly positive experience for me, there are very few people I could recommend do it with their kids. The strong impression I got was also that it became less effective as you became high school aged, but I went back to a regular school before that.

[kiba]

Sport clubs, local neighborhood.

In particular, I retained a childhood friend who was a street playmate. The rest of my friends last through middle and high school until they moved away, and in some case drifted apart.